"The Earth is the cradle of humanity, but mankind cannot stay in the cradle forever.' - Konstantin Tsiolkovskii (1857-1935)

Offworld is a film written by Psyfyman81, which focuses on a colonial expedition to a nearby potentially habitable world but upon arrival the colonists discover the wreckage of an unknown spacecraft.


In the mid-22nd century, an eccentric Indian-American trillonaire Vikram Salam builds four colonial transport vehicles to maintain humanity's continuity. At this time, two power blocs: the West and the East are locked in a cold war for extraterrestrial resources and both possess the ability to cause humanity's extinction with kinetic energy weapons.

The colony ship Konstantin Tsiolkovsky is heading to the red dwarf Seligman 505, approximately 12.5 light-years from Earth. The ship will be traveling at 1/4 of the speed of light, making the trip one-hundred and twenty-six years long. The passengers and crew of nearly fifteen thousand will be placed in suspended animation for the duration.

Tsiolkovskii extrasolar planetary system chart

Commander Charles Beach is the commanding officer of the mission. He brings along his rebellious daughter Agatha whom resents him for taking her away from her life back on Collins Dock. An honorable man, he tries looking out for his daughter despite her rebellion in as diplomatic a manner as possible. When awakened, the onboard A.I. Minnie reports that the scouting probes have detected the wreckage of an unidentified spaceship on the surface of Seligman 505B.

While on the planet, which they vote to name Meridian, receive a welcoming committee, survivors of the crashed spaceship. Commander Regina Keenan claims that her ship, the Euclid, crash-landed on the surface because it was damaged in a micro-meteor shower upon deceleration. Her ship was capable of traveling at 3/4 of the speed of light, arriving at Meridian in less than twenty-six years, thanks to its antimatter propulsion. But as time goes on, the colonists of the Tsiolkovsky grow increasingly more skeptical of the Euclid colonists' claims and seek to find out the truth. While outside the colonial settlement one night, Agatha and a friend engage in intercourse and upon completion, her friend is killed by a native life-form. This moment scars Agatha but endears herself to Commander. Her father having recently been elected to the position of colonial governor takes it upon himself to monitor Agatha, knowing that she will try to find Keenan.

Chief Scientist Sylvia Menjivar discovers that the local plant life on Meridian is inedible and can cause severe mental degradation if consumed over a long period of time. Beach learns via video given to him by Keenan in good confidence that reveals that some survivors of the crash of the Euclid tried to rally together and try to survive on the planet but Commander Keenan refused to accept the status quo. Agatha escapes and knowing this new revelation, Beach goes to recover his daughter. Agatha stumbles upon a massive A.I. known as E.Li.As which has been contacting Minnie. Beach successfully finds his daughter in the A.I. core, the two of them flee and discover that Keenan is feeding her passengers the local plant life, while she hoards the last remaining food rations which is beginning to run low. Keenan is also feeding her fellow passengers, colonists who are still in hypersleep. Beach and Agatha, realizing that they are cannibals flee.

The next morning, Beach confronts Keenan about the new information that has come to light, which leads to Keenan murder Beach in her compound. Keenan's plan is to board the Tsiolkovsky in orbit, kill the crew and take her new source of food. Betrayed and angry Agatha wields weapons just simple hardware tools to end Keenan. A battle ensues between the Meridian City colonists and the Euclid survivors. Keenan and her bodyguard Fain successfully steal a shuttle and enter the atmosphere. Sylvia sees Agatha and the two of them join forces to take another shuttle in a bid to stop Keenan from reaching the Tsiolkovsky which is just barely departing orbit. Agatha's shuttle catches Keenan's before breaking orbit, Keenan bumps the side of the shuttle and the two shuttles attempt to force the other one down.

Eventually, both shuttles crash, Menjivar is incapacitated in the crash while Agatha gets out and pursues Keenan on foot. Keenan runs to the A.I. core and E.Li.As but Agatha stops her. Keenan pleads for her life but Agatha sees very little value in her life and staples her to a metal beam with a hypersonic nailgun. Agatha then knocks out Keenan. The Meridian government place Keenan in a makeshift jail where Agatha makes the bold declaration that the only reason Keenan is not dead is because her father wouldn't have agreed. Keenan will serve out the rest of her life watching the Meridians succeed where she failed. Life in the colony is just beginning. Menjivar tells Agatha that they are sending a message back to Earth now that they know it may still exist out there. Agatha declines adding her voice to the file citing that they have another twenty-five years before they hear from Earth, let us tend to our new world.

REVISED SECOND HALF: Beach pursues his daughter into a cave where they discover dark secrets of the Euclid crew and inadvertantly repair their fractured relationship. Beach, Agatha and Minnie explore the cave system. Introduction to self-illuminating fungus that expels oxygen. Beach's death and consumed by Euclid passengers, escape of seven sleepers from Euclid pods.

Agatha returns to Meridian City Pavillion and tries to convince new Lt. Gov. Rodriguez to act but Rodriguez wants to pursue a more diplomatic route. Agatha is infuriated by the bureaucratic B.S. and departs. Word gets around the settlement, opinion is split between helping Agatha and remaining in the diplomatic mindset. A shuttle pilot, Minnie and a few others want to strike back at Keenan. Some Euclid colonists want to get back at her as well when the truth about her is revealed.

Beach is dead, yet Keenan still talks to his dead corpse and we see how degraded her rationality has become. As they cook him.

Keenan is plotting an attack on Meridian City in the afternoon. Agatha and crew successfully steal a shuttle but Minnie rats her out and she is grounded. An angry Gov. Rodriguez meets her in the woods as Keenan launches an assault on the settlement. Minnie via the Recon Orbiter detects the approach of Keenan's husks. Gov. Rodriguez feels like a fool and tasks Minnie with defense of the colony. Dozens of Keenan's husks close in on Meridian City as they begin to bombard the facades with hydrocarbon slushpiles lit on fire. Some husks begin to mutilate and beat many colonists. Gov. Rodriguez freezes under pressure and vacates the governorship which causes a deep crisis as Meridian City lies in flames. Rodriguez is arrested and the Meridian City Council Chairperson assumes the governorship and agrees to retailiate against Keenan with Agatha's new group. A scientist in Agatha's group manufactures a sodium bomb to destroy Elias' mainframe. Agatha doesn't comprehend his scientific mumbojumbo and just says she likes what he is doing. Minni asks Agatha a favor after a failed discussion with Elias. Agatha places a direct cord to transfer Minnie's consciousness into a security mech.

Minnie as a security mech is badass, she uses stun to knock out husks. The next wave of husks fire Dominus barbs at Agatha's team, killing many. Minnie tells Agatha about her plan to destroy Elias and Keenan at the same time, to overload his computer core. She holds the sodium bomb and tells herself that it would be a great backup. The pilot picks up Minnie and Agatha and drop them off on the plateau, as the rest of her group defend Meridian City from husks. Agatha drops her stun pistol as its charge is depleted. Agatha changes to a sonic rifle. She wonders around Keenan's compound, it is mostly empty save for a few husks doing remedial tasks to keep the settlement going. Keenan fires an EMP pulse at Minnie, causing a one-on-one fight. Keenan monologues. Agatha runs underneath the compound trying to evade Keenan. Agatha finds the remains of her father, collapses and cries. In rage, she fights Keenan headon. Minnie reboots and follows Agatha, worried. Keenan strangles Agatha, but she knees Keenan in the ribs, knocking her over. Agatha struggles to regain her breath. As Keenan grabs her nailgun and fires it into Agatha's shoulder. Keenan looks into her eyes and points the nailgun at her forehead. Minnie grabs Keenan and twirls her in the air and tosses her into Elias' facade, not dead. Minnie states she can overload Elias and destroy everything. Minnie will remain behind as Agatha rescues as many sleepers as possible before the caves collapse. Agatha cries and hugs Minnie, Elias' power is cut by 90% after waking all the remaining sleepers at once. Minnie downloads herself into the Tsiolkovsky computer core before Elias is destroyed. As hundreds of sleepers run out of the caves as the cave implodes, rescue shuttles wait nearby. Agatha makes it out and cries about Minnie's preceived death. The shuttles pick everyone up. But Keenan has survived the destruction though very injured. She makes it the edge of the cliff. Agatha is waiting. Keenan reveals she used to drop undesirables off the cliff to remain in power. She attempts to throw Agatha off the cliff but instead Keenan hangs off the cliff face. Keenan struggles to get back off the cliff. Agatha tells her that she has come to the realization that Keenan is something that is sub-human. Agatha picks her up but Keenan tries to push them both off but not until Agatha raises her from the cliff face. Agatha's pilot friend clocks Keenan out and states she has an iron jaw. Keenan is grabbed and taken to a detention center.

Days later, Agatha and the pilot exchange friendly convo, as she goes to the detention center where Keenan is being held. Agatha states that her punishment will be watching Meridian City succeed where they failed. Agatha leaves Keenan alone with her thoughts.

At twilight, Agatha meets Slyvia at the Department of Sciences, they are preparing to send a field report of Meridian back to Earth. Agatha records her final log entry. Agatha sits on the top of the settlement roof, looking up at the sky thinking about the stars and her father. Then finally, she wonders about Charles Beach Beach.


Character profile, name, occupation, residence, DOB, POB, Ethnicity, Martial Status, Based on.

  • Commander Charles J. Beach: 52 years old, born Feb. 24, 2113, revised to 2165. Reno, Nevada. African-American. Mission commander of the Tsiolkovsky. HS: 2131. Coll: 2135, BA. Lunar ferry pilot 2136-2146. Suborbital liner pilot: 2146-2161. Project Diaspora 2161-2165. Much to the chagrin of most colonists, Beach maintains a fondness for 1950s culture. The rest of the colonists have udder disdain for everything 20th century, as they see it as the era of excess and carelessness and almost cost them Earth.
  • Agatha C. Beach: 17 years old, born 2148, revised to 2192. African-Indian-American. Northstar 5, LEO. Commander's only child.
  • Sylvia Menjivar: 27 years old, born 2138. Latin American. Chief scientist. No family, no parents. HS: 2156. Coll: 2160, PHD quickly. Sylvia and Charles have known each other since they were selected for training in 2162. Trained for 2 years.
  • Minnie: Tsiolkovsky's A.I, rename Mini. A few months old at the launch of Tsiolkovsky in 2165. Is 125 years old when we meet her in 2290. She has a green light for an "eye" like Hal 9000 had a red eye.
  • Vikram Salam: 48 years old, born 2117. New Calcutta/USA. Indian-American. Chief Designer of Project Diaspora. HS: 2135. College: 2140, MBA, 5 years. Playboy/eccentric, 10 years until 2150. Father and family killed in an accident, changes his ways, inherits his father's empire, becoming a trillionnaire overnight. Begins fearing that the conflict between the West and the East could escalate, begins Project Diaspora 2151+, launch 2165.
  • Nicolas Carter: 35 years, born 2130. Perth, Australia. Propulsion engineer.
  • Kristin Reynoso-Gattis: 32 years old, 2133. Hope City, Western Antarctica.
  • Dylan Reynoso: 32 years old, born 2133. Hope City, Western Antarctica.
  • Dr. Everett Gannon: 50 years old, born 2115. Vancouver, BC, UNA.
  • Moche Rennie: 27 years old, born 2138. Anchorage, Alaska, UNA. Assistant physician.
  • Sama Rafal Hiyam: 17 years old, born 2138. Erbil, Kurdistan. Passenger, boyfriend of Agatha.
  • Regina Keenan: 59 years old, born 2205. Mission commander Euclid. She needs to be a psycho, needs excuses, needs platitudes and "we're really the same" speeches. She needs to talk alot when we see her. She needs to try to dismay, turn or twist her opponents.
  • Vigil Fain: 51 years old, born 2213. Euclid security officer, bodyguard for Keenan.
  • Dr. Nigel Orzechowski. Euclid medical officer, driven mad by the local flora and fauna, Keenan's unwilling lackey.
  • "Lena." Euclid colonist, sex slave.
  • E.L.I.A.S. , Euclid A.I. Never really shut off years ago by Keenan, but listens silently and lonely.

Offworld timeline

  • 2020: Charles Beach's great grandmother "Granty."
  • 2046: Charles Beach's grandmother.
  • 2081: Charles Beach's father.
  • 2100: Population of solar system was holding at 10.25 billion.
  • February 24, 2113: Commander Beach's birth in Northern California.
  • 2117: Vikram Salam is born in New Calcutta.
  • 2118: West and East Cold War began.
  • 2131: Beach graduates college.
  • 2135: Salam is 18, as the youngest child of Mohinder Salam, he has no $ for college. Beach becomes a LEO suborbit pilot.
  • 2136: Beach becomes a lunar ferry pilot, moves to Northstar 5.
  • 2138: Agatha is born in LEO Northstar 5.
  • 2140: Vikram's father, siblings are killed in a suborbital shuttle accident, making Vikram sole heir to Mohinder Salam's fortune.
  • Early 2140s: Commander Beach's wife and Agatha's mother dies.
  • 2143: 3 years of wacky stunts for Vikram. War spooks Vikram.
  • 2145: Vikram finances Project Exodus, construction of four spacecraft for colonization of nearby worlds. Beach's "Granty" dies at 125 years old.
  • 2150: Hundreds of people on Mercury and Venus outposts. Earth had 9.75 billion people. Luna/Mars/Belt had millions of people. Jupiter/Saturn had hundreds of thousands. Uranus/Neptune outposts had dozens to hundreds.
  • January 13, 2165: Tsiolkovsky departure from Earth to Seligman 505B. Three other ships are launched for Alpha Centauri, Epsilon Indi and Fredricks 855. 64,000 people in all.
  • Late 2165: War reaches its apex. Combat begins between the West and East. Bioengineered plague kills 7 billion, kinetic energy weapons kill 1 billion.
  • 2166: Aid to Earth from its colonies: Luna, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and asteroid belt. Tycho City Armistice signed.
  • 2176: Ten years later, road to recovery is long.
  • 2230: Antimatter starships, developed at the ESPI (Einstein Superluminal Propulsion Institute) near Pluto.
  • 2230s: High thousands on Mercury/Venus colonies. 1 billion on Earth. Hundreds of millions on Luna/Mars. AB had tens of millions. Jupiter/Saturn had tens of millions. Uranus/Neptune colonies had thousands.
  • 2249: Euclid is apart of a batch of a dozen starships launched from Triton. 120,000 people in all.
  • 2250: Type 1 civilization.
  • 2260: Accelerated development of the Solar System.
  • 2275: Alien life discovered on Seligman 505B. Euclid crashlanded.
  • 2293: Tsiolkovsky arrives at Meridian discovers the remains of the Euclid.
  • 2383: End of the Meridian series. Launch from Meridian and back to Earth. Embryonic space colonization mission help to ensure human survival with Minni's daughter, Maxine.
  • 2415: Underground city unselaed. 250 years since the West and East destroy the Earth. Homesteaders/Spacebound types of humans. Build a cityship to flee the Solar System while some choose to stay behind.

List of spacecraft


Spacecraft powered by nuclear pulse propulsion and Thorium-based nuclear RTGs.

  • Konstantin Tsiolkovsky- target: Seligman 505B, approximately: 12.5 light-years. Launched 2165. Arrived 2290. 20,000 passengers and crew. Successful colonization of Seligman 505B/Meridian.
  • Robert Goddard- target: Alpha Centauri, approximately: 4.3 light-years. Launched 2165. Arrived 2208. Stranded in system. Message to Earth arrived 2212. Message of rescue 2217. Recovered in 2249. Return to Earth 2258. 20,000 passengers and crew.
  • Herman Oberth- target: Tau Ceti, approximately: 11.9 light-years. Launched 2165. Arrived 2285. Message to Earth arrived 2297. Ship was destroyed. 20,000 passengers and crew.
  • Sergei Korolev- target: Fredricks 855, approximately: 20.3 light-years. Launched 2165. ETA 2369. Technical mishap lead to crew waking up 150,000 years later at a stellar-mass black hole 15,000 light-years away. A slingshot around the black hole and transit through a wormhole arrive in a far-off system 557,000 years after leaving Earth.


Spacecraft powered by antimatter.

  • Thales- target Alpha Centauri system. Launched 2240, rescue mission.
  • Pythagoras. Launched 2241
  • Socrates. Launched 2241
  • Philolaus. Launched 2242.
  • Democritus- target Tau Ceti- Launched 2242. Arrived 2267. Message to nearby colony 2268. Discovered remnants of Oberth.
  • Plato- Launched 2242.
  • Aristotle- Launched 2243.
  • Euclid- target: Seligman 505B. Launched 2243. Arrived/crashlanded 2269.
  • Archimedes. Launched 2244.
  • Erastosthenes. Launched 2244.
  • Ptolemy- target Fredricks 855. Launched 2245. ETA 2287.


  • A novel version of Offworld has been shown in a novel writing class in 2013 and 2014, garnering praise.


  • Maybe the Catholic Church spent money to construct the four ships to leave the Solar System. Look up the relationship between science and religion.
  • Little America: American ethnic conglomeration of English, French and Spanish speakers. Little Asia: Asian ethnic enclave with speakers of Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Viet, Laotian, Cambodian and Hindi. Little Europe: European ethnic enclave with Scandinavian, English, French, Spanish and German, etc speakers. Little Africa: Many speakers. Little Antarctica: Predominantly English and Spanish speakers from Western Antarctica. Little Luna: Lunarian ethnic enclave, speakers of English, Russian, Japanese, Hindi and Mandarin. Orbitsville: LEO/MEO/HEO based ethnic enclaves. Little Moscow: Russian/Chechen/Ukranian/Central Asian. Tsiolkovsky Space Museum: retired space station, 'Museum orbit.' Meridian Spirit- humungous space station. 'Beach Beach.' Keenan's Folley-name of Camp Purgatorio later on. Little Australia. Mars City: Martian ethnic enclave.
  • Lake Perris, Buck's Lake influence on design of colonial settlement surroundings in Meridian City.
  • Meridian is one of the least populated planets near Earth and the capital, boasting a population of 42,500 after 90 years. Meridian has one of the largest group of Americans outside of the Solar System.
  • Despite the ethnic enclaves, two groups have formed among the colonists: Kovskys (Tsiolkovsky colonists from the 22nd century) and Clids (Euclid colonists from the 23rd century)
  • The West was the Americas and Europe. The East was Asia.
  • By 22nd century, online universities are quite common, "Universities of everywhere."
  • Prime meridian is 270-700 miles across at 10 degrees, 70 miles at 1 degree. Meteor showers occur yearly with pieces large enough to impact the ground. Large magnetic core with significant atmosphere. Smaller than Earth, could be classified as a 'Sub-Earth.' Planet is 80% of the size of Earth, roughly a 3,200 mile radius and a 6,400 mile diameter. The Global Ocean temperature is 120*F at eye wall of Perpetual Storm, but in the Prime Meridian temps average out at a cool 60*F. -120*F at Cold Zone, Hinterlands maintain 0*F, Prime Meridian temps average 60*F. Highest summer temps would be 90*F. 1939 Long Beach hurricane. Perpetual Storm is a hypercane on the sunward facing hemisphere where temps are 120*F, the storm extends up into the Upper Stratosphere 20 miles, winds are 500 mph at 700 millibars. Storm would be eight times more powerful than anything ever observed on Earth. If the storm hit land it would cause a storm surge of 60 feet and the eye would be nearly 200 miles wide, around the eye wall, UV light is significantly reduced. Once every 20-30 years, a unique cyclonic/cyclone event occurs on Meridian which stands to wipe out the settlements on the planet, luckily they tend to only last a 25 hour period.
  • Aspects of the planet: 1,000-mile-wide tornado (Deadliest Space Weather), Purple sky/red rainbow with rain, By the wind sailors (velella), murmuration in birds, phytoplankton, bioluminescence, zombie trees, Lake Balkhash 'Candy Lake' has zombie trees, Lake Baikal is the largest freshwater lake in the world. Cliff collapses with sandstone, chalk or limestone. Storm surge. What would cause a Great Red Spot? Perpeutal storm: GRS Jupiter, Catatumbo lightnining event. Ant hive colony that covers 3/4 of the planet's surface. Volcano, disaster salvation zone.
  • Sodium bomb, velcro explosion. Hydrocarbon lake. Perpetual storm. Frozen hinterlands.
  • Needs more Contact and Sphere, less Event Horizon and Red Planet.
  • Colony is one of the one's from Redshift
  • Colony should feel alot like Eden Prime from Mass Effect, agrarian in nature.
  • As well as 2175 Aeia, Ontarom, Chasca, Exogeni facility on N, Trebin, Klensal, Altair IV, Archer IV, Fyrine IV, Carillon, Amarantine, Eletania, Inta'Sei. Unnamed planet from Interstellar Text Adventure.
  • A sequel would focus on life within the colony during "The Wait" between 2107 and 2127. As the status of Earth has remained unknown for nearly 50 years.
  • Red giant being sucked by a black hole. Exploration Vessel.
  • Cities on the planet: named after great libraries on Earth- ALEXANDRIA, CONSTANTINOPLE, EBLA, EPANG, SERPAHEUM. COUNTRIES: NEW ANATOLIA.
  • Like Earth 2, only more character drama, conflict & plot. Threat of slow starvation and survival against the odds.
  • Tidally locked world with a half-ring and 2 moons, ringfall-pellets from the sky periodically, temperate prime meridian,
  • Gallagher Astro, company
  • Tech style-Solaris
  • Tsiolkovskii crew were launched inside a SSTO inside a mass driver from Alamogordo, NM in 2065.
  • Korolev crew were launched inside a SSTO inside a mass driver near Pike's Peak, CO in 2083.
  • Nuclear waste disposal use of a mass driver into orbit then launched into the sun.



  • In 2083, a plague seems to have ravaged Earth leading the Korolev crew to be believe they are all that's left. However, the Tsiolkovskii crew hold out hope that humanity survived.
  • In 2065, climate change had caused a 50% increase in global conflicts.
  • In the future, corporations run rampant and the United States and many democratic nations around the world have enacted laws that benefit corporations and lessen government control.  The government's only job is to enforce the law. Which leaves the power of enforcing the law to private military contractors and security forces. However, when two corporations "go to war" with one another, they battle behind the scenes and most crimes those go unnoticed... In the future, the one with important information rules. Information is power. 
  • Mexican drug cartels, South-western state individuals that wanted to leave, majority-minority states seriously considering seceding, refugees from Southern states, rich people from BOSWASH or Great Lakes regions, earthquake refugees from SF/LA/Pac NW regions. Higher storm activity in Missouri. Evacuees from Memphis earthquake. Immense poverty, Sanctuary districts for homeless. USA as a third-world country. Moon, Mars colonies. Ocean colonies. US President is an older Asian/Latino woman. Fall of Las Vegas. Many former farm states are becoming deserts with dust bowls. Anything below half the US is undergoing disastrous conditions. Anything above half the US have evolved constant year-long summers, with no winters, a Mediterranean climate. Canada is becoming more humid continental climate with warm-hot summers and short cold winters. Equatorial regions are arid, uninhabitable deserts, the loss of tropical regions all over the world.





  • KONSTANTIN TSIOLKOVSKY: 1857-1935. Target: 12.5 lightyears away. MERIDIAN. Offworld novel. 20,000 passengers and crew successfully colonize planet. MOV.

ROBERT GODDARD: 1882-1945. Target: 20.3 lightyears away. FREDRICKS 855. Redshift S1. 20,000 passengers and crew, new residents of Home Star System. K2V.

HERMANN OBERTH: 1894-1989. Target: 4.37 lightyears away. ALPHA CENTAURI. Passengers and crew live multiple generations inside a massive city-ship. 20,000 inhabitants. Offworld companion novel. G2V/K5V

SERGEI KOROLEV: 1907-1966. Target: 11.8 lightyears away. EPSILON ERIDANI. Ship destroyed by meteroid impact at high c velocity. 20,000 killed. Featured in a short story. G2V

5,000 years, population of system is somewhere around ~500 million. Approximately 250-330 million live on Kloralla. The rest are divided amongst the system. 

Hundreds of millions, 300 million is the population of the United States.

100 million is the populaton of Russia.

30 million is the population of Canada/California.

Total: 430 million.

70 million strewn throughout Home Star System.

Klorallus. Unpopulated/Quarantined.

Pylltumm colony, approximately 30 million people, largest colony of Muwadi offworld.

Scavengers/Marauders number in the single digit millions across the sys.

  • Include a map of the planet, see Davpaul on space-engine wikia.
  • Dramatis personnae, list of characters
  • Brief timeline of events.
  • Include Melville, Tsiolkovsky and Barrie quotes.
  • Keep Sept. 25, 2015 manuscript submission log entries.
  • Add more 3rd POV in between 1st POV logs.
  • The logs are made for posterity.
  • Include scene that shows the initial quarantine with Sylvia and her team. Then give ok for colonial settlement construction.
  • More emotional attachment between Beach and Agatha. Climax of the Cannibal Factory needs to be more horrific. Agatha should be in more pain about Sama's death.
  • Menjivar needs to be a bit more transparent about her observations/theories.
  • Clean up the events between Tsiolkovsky and Euclid's time. Some can be distracting and flamboyant.
  • Make Reynoso-Gattis' entry more about people around her and personal experiences. Reassuring of her safety even if they are watching from above.